The hardest thing about starting your own business, especially alone, is that whether you succeed or fail, it’s all on your shoulders.
Right out of college, I decided I would try to figure things out on my own. I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew I wanted to build something from my own ideas. I was ambitious, optimistic, and completely unprepared.
As a kid, I loved stickers, crafts, stationery, and just about anything that fell under that umbrella. That dream took a bit of a detour during school when I debated becoming a teacher before eventually falling in love with publishing. I majored in English Literature and Publishing Studies in college, but I still wasn't completely sold on the 9-to-5 grind—especially commuting into Manhattan every day.
It's also important to mention that between the summer before high school, I had my first panic attack. I don't think I've ever quite been the same since.
Anxiety became a constant companion, dampening every success and limiting what I could imagine my future looking like. It made traditional career paths feel overwhelming. More than anything, I wanted a career that gave me flexibility on my bad days and no one but myself to disappoint if everything went to shit.
That's part of what led me here.
Mighty Pen Designs was born from the quote, "The pen is mightier than the sword." On the surface, I love pens, and I think swords are badass. On a deeper level, though, words have the power to build someone up or tear them down in the very same breath.
For most of my life, I chased academic validation. College especially became my safe place. Despite every panic attack and every doctor's appointment, I poured everything I had into my classes. When my work was recognized, I felt like I had finally done something right.
Running a business is different.
Validation is few and far between. A sale, a kind review, or a returning customer can completely make my day. But when the notifications stop coming in, my brain doesn't see a slow day—it immediately jumps to, You failed.
I'm still learning how to separate my worth from my sales. Some days I'm better at it than others.
This is all to say that I'm trying.
I'm building a business creating and selling stationery because I still believe words matter. I believe physical media matters. In a world where everything is digital and fleeting, there's something special about holding a handwritten card, bookmarking a favorite page, or receiving a small gift that lets someone know they were thought of.
I don't know where Mighty Pen Designs will be in five years. Truthfully, there are days when I wonder if it'll even make it through this year. But every order, every review, and every person who chooses something I've created reminds me why I started in the first place.
So, I'm going to keep trying. And maybe that's what this diary is really about.
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